15 Years of Pursing Your Best Friend
by SamxXxBluePulser
Summary: On the 15th anniversary of Wally's death, Tim and Jay visit Dick in the mental institute and recall all that has happened in the past 15 years that led to their broken hearts. One prologue, 3 flashbacks, and 15 chapters: one for every year Dick got to know Wally. Tim X Jay, Dick X Wally {kind of based off the Vocaloid song}
1. Prologue

**New mini story…this will be about 15-20 parts. Based off the Vocaloid song xD**

**Each chapter (minus this one and the next 3) with be one year that Dick spent/remembered Wally. This is just the prologue :3**

**BTW: the ages of the characters are changed. I know it's supposed to be 15 years later, but I find that too old…so!**

**Jason is 26**

**Dick is 25**

**And Tim is 21**

Timothy Drake rubbed his forehead as he entered the lobby of the mental hospital. His shoes made soft noises as he made his way across the slick marble floors and to the front desk. The brunette nurse at the front recognized him immediately and barely paid him any attention as he pushed open the glass double doors to the left of her. Used to the routine, Tim pressed the button for the elevator and let out a little sigh as the doors slid open to reveal a smirking Jason, his gray eyes warm.

"You've already seen him?" Tim asked as he stepped in beside him, and Jason nodded, his eyes trained on the glowing buttons.

Tim jabbed the one for floor 5 and tapped his foot, waiting. He glanced over at Jay, who wrapped his arm around the shorter ebony.

"Look, it'll be fine. He's just upset, I guess and—"

"Jason, it's the 15th anniversary of Wally's death, he's going to be worse than usual!" Tim snapped, sighing and leaning against the other man.

"I know…but at least he's talking a lot more." Jay pointed out with a slight grin.

The elevator's dull silver doors opened with a smooth whoosh, and they stepped out and walked towards the 17th door. It was marked with a shiny brass plate that read: Suite 1029: D . .

Tim took a deep breath and knocked on the door, biting his lip when a familiar voice snapped, "Come in, if you have to!"

He glanced at Jason in apprehension, and the Red Hood gave him a small smile, pushing him lightly. Tim turned the handle and hopped over the threshold, the door closing behind him with a final sounding click.

Sitting on a chair, feet on the table, blue eyes as startling as ever, Dick Grayson looked like he was having a bad day. His clothes were rumpled and his hair unkempt, but the biggest change was his face, of course. A jagged scar ran from his right eyebrow and disappeared into his hairline; there were permanent dark bags under his eyes; and his face was gaunt and pale, not resembling the cheery brother he once was. He fingered a fine silver chain that hug around his neck, with a golden key hanging from it.

"Hey…how are you doing?" Tim asked in a soft voice, hoping Dick wouldn't start yelling about how useless and unwanted he was; the last time he had, Tim had been practically sobbing and 4 security guards had to restrain Jason from severely maiming Dick.

"Not good! You know what today is…" his voice had a delicate rhythm to it, but the words were sharp and cut into Tim's mind.

"I know…I still wish we could reverse it." Tim reached out tentatively and squeezed his older brother's hand, feeling relief flooding though his body as the gesture was returned.

"I do too, Timmy…"

Tears formed in Dick's eyes, and Tim felt his heart twinge in pain for the older man. He had been through so much in the past 15 years: Wally's death, Jason disappearing again for 5 months (that caused Tim to go slightly insane as well), and finally the change in mental sate from sane to insane. And the worst part, Dick hadn't even had the chance to tell the speedster about his feelings. His death was so bitter that if it was brought up on any other day, it would guarantee a torrent of insult and a flood of tears.

"I miss Walls…so much…so much…" Dick's voice broke, and Tim gathered the broken ebony into his arms, rubbing soothing circles on his back and wishing so hard that they were a perfect family.

"I know…"

Thoughts—forbidden, secret, personal—were racing around in Dick's head. Memories from far back, 15 years back…

**The first year he was nervous, stuttering, and the ginger barely paid any attention to him.**

**The second year was a little better, as the ginger had one conversation with him**

**The third year promised a close friendship, and new beginnings.**

**The fourth year was filled with video games, ice cream, and vague glances at the ginger.**

**The fifth year went by slowly, as the ginger was always with him, talking and laughing.**

**The sixth year was tolerable; the ginger spent a lot more time with the new girl archer and didn't talk to him as much.**

**The seventh year, he barely got to see the ginger because he was training frequently and on missions so much.**

**The eight year was terrible; the ginger was dating the blonde and every time he saw them, a little piece of him shattered.**

**The ninth year wasn't any better; the only perk being the fact that the blonde would eventually have to move away due to money problems.**

**The tenth year was a blur of dates with random girls, but he only went on them to bury his aching heart deeper and deeper.**

**The eleventh year, he got badly wounded during a mission that the ginger had died in, but he didn't remember that, and the first thing he saw when he awoke was a white hospital ceiling.**

**The twelfth year he spent trying to regain his memories; all he could remember was his name and a pair of bright green eyes.**

**The thirteenth year he remembered it all, remembered his one love was dead, and was driven past the brink of insanity.**

**The fourteenth year, he had tried to kill himself, but it had failed when Jason had caught him.**

**And here he was: living the fifteenth year.**

"Oh, Dick…thinking doesn't help," Tim tried to soothe his older brother, who jerked away, his blue eyes staring at the wall but only seeing a familiar face, with sparkling jade green eyes, with light freckles…

"Yes it does! Leave me alone!"

Dick lashed out at Tim, who was caught by surprise and fell backwards on the chair he was sitting on. His arm took the full impact and he winced as Dick raised a fist.

"I want him back! Bring him back to me!"

Tim rolled to the side, catching a wrist with one hand and narrowing his eyes.

"Calm down!" he jumped to his feet and ducked as a fist swung over his head.

"NO! BRING HIM BACK! OR I'LL GO TO HIM!" Dick ran to his bedside table and fumbled with the key around his neck.

"Jason!" Tim called for support, following the man and trying to tug him away.

"NO! I WANT WALLY!" Dick screamed, kicking Tim in the chest hard and yanking open the drawer.

The ebony saw stars as his head crashed against the edge of the bed. He saw Jason rush into the room, tripping Dick and causing him to drop the glittering knife.

Grabbing the rail as he tried to support himself, his vision swam in and out of focus. Memories swirled through his head as he sank into a haze of dullness.

**As soon as I get one review I shall update FLASHBACK 1 aka Dick after Wally's death**

**:) important information: I don't think Damian is in this yet, so I wont include him. Sorry.**

**and yes, Dickie bird is crazy :/**

**~samx**


	2. Flashback 1

**The first flashback! :) when Wally dies.**

**Flashback 1:**

_Tim was pounding on the door, yelling Dick's name over and over in sheer desperation. _

"_Dick! Dick! Don't do it!" _

_He could hear something splatter on the floor and loud sobs echo off the tile walls. He let out a loud groan, stepping back and feeling tears form in his eyes as a liquid splashed to the floor. _

"_Come out, please!" Tim slid to the floor, feeling something in himself break as Dick gave a loud cry._

"_Dick…don't do it…" tears were flowing down his face as he slammed his fist against the door once more._

_Through his blurred vision, he saw a figure walk through the door and kneel beside him. He felt strong arms wrap around him, and let out a shuddering sigh as he buried his face into the soft fabric._

"_Shh…it's ok Tim," Jason whispered, holding him tightly and kissing the top of his head lightly._

"_No it isn't J-Jay! He's going to—to kill himself!" Tim managed to choke out, and Jason leaned in and brushed their lips together ever so softly, rubbing small circles into his palm._

"_He won't, alright? I promise." Jay stood up, scooping up the younger teen and placing him on the bed._

"_O-Ok…" Tim sniffled and hugged his small, 14-year old frame, watching as the gray-eyed teen picked the lock and went inside, closing the door behind him. _

_Tim heard yelling and clattering, and something splattered to the floor again he squeezed his eyes shut and buried his face into a pillow, crying silently. His shoulders shook violently as he wished Wally hadn't died; that his brother wasn't so broken beyond repair. After a while he heard a low growl and someone yelled, "Don't make Tim more upset! How do you think he feels, seeing you like this?"_

_Finally, finally, finally, the door made a little click as it opened. The ebony looked up into mournful gray eyes, and felt himself crack a little more._

"_Don't cry, birdy. It's ok, really."_

_Tim was pulled into Jason's lap, letting out a whimper as Jay kissed gently down his neck and pressed his lips hard against a sensitive spot._

"_I'm sorry, Timmy…I'm sorry…" _

_Tim looked up into watery blue eyes; he flung himself at Dick, burying his face in the nook of his neck and trying to ignore the angry red slashes across the pale wrists._

"_Don't d-do that Dick! You can't leave me…you can't leave us!" he cried, hugging his brother tightly._

"_I won't…I won't….don't cry." Dick smiled guiltily at Jason, who was glaring harshly, and messed up his little brother's hair ruefully._

"_I'm not crying…" Tim pulled away, rubbing his eyes and pouting a bit._

"_Sure baby bird." Dick laughed, wiping blood from the now sticky pillow._

"_Aw, come here Timmy…" Jay held out his arms with a unusually sweet, hopeful face._

_Tim wiped away some of his tears and curled up into Jay's arms; he closed his eyes and let the warmth seep into his body. The older teen wrapped his arms around the boy in his lap, and both relaxed as they took comfort in each other. _

_Dick suddenly got up, crying hysterically._

"_You two are so—so perfect and you have each other why did he have to—to LEAVE ME!" he disappeared, and somewhere deep in the mansion a door slammed. Jay got up, shoving Tim off of him and running after his brother. Stunned, Tim started to hyperventilate as guilt swelled up in him._

_He wished Wally never died._

**End! Sorry it's short :3 two reviews for the next flashback :D  
~samx**


	3. Flashbacks 2&3

**Sorry this took so long :3**

**Flashback 2:**

_Tim was curled up in a ball, his blue eyes hollow, blank, and unseeing. Dick was trying, for the 7__th__ time today, to get him to eat, but Tim wouldn't. _

_He couldn't._

_Jason was gone. He had been gone, for 4 months now._

_Tim didn't even move as his brother nudged him. If he tried to talk all that would come out would be a choking sound, as if he couldn't breath. That's how he mentally felt. As if something was suffocating him, forcing him to lose control slowly._

"_Tim, you need to eat! You need to drink water!" Dick sighed when he didn't get a reply._

"_Jay…" Tim managed, and broke into sad sobs, wrapping his thin arms around him._

"_He'll come back! I swear, Tim, just—"_

"_He left me…left me…LEFT ME!" Tim suddenly screamed, yanking at his raven hair; Dick started to yell, and both voices sounded and echoed in the room._

"_TIM STOP YOU NEED REST—"_

"_I NEED HIM WHERE IS HE DICK COME BACK JAY—"_

"_TIM! PLEASE STOP!"_

"_NO I NEED HIM!"_

"_TIM!"_

"…_I miss him." Tim slumped to the floor as if someone had sucked all the energy out of him, his eyes_

_Dick sighed; he scooped up his little brother and carried him to his room. He tucked the younger boy under the blankets, feeling even sadder when he saw the cold tears fall down Tim's face._

_When Jason came back, Dick was going to have a long talk with him._

**Flashback 3:**

_Jason and Tim watched in horror as Dick bit himself; his teeth savagely tore into his flesh. Blood spurted out, but they couldn't do anything. They were watching through a video camera of what had happened two hours earlier. Tim turned and buried his face in Jason's chest, tears wetting the stiff shirt. Jason stroked his hair, not letting his fear and pain for his brother to show. Dick started to scream and laugh insanely, spinning around and clamping his teeth around his wrist, drawing more blood. Tim shook violently; he couldn't see anything but the screams were hurting him almost as much._

_Jason threw a knife at the screen, which hissed and then went black. In the silence, he asked softly, "You ok Timmy?"_

"_No…" the ebony sniffled, his fists clenching a handful of Jason's shirt and looking up with heartbreaking blue eyes._

_The sight was too much for Jason to take; the Red Hood just hugged the younger boy tightly, squeezing his eyes shut as a few tears slipped out. They stood there for a while, before a loud laugh shattered the somewhat peaceful silence._

"_Stay here!" Jason commanded Tim, running out the door and skidding down the hall as Dick let out another insane scream, and several banging noises followed._

_Tim crumpled to the floor, letting the heavy sobs overtake him as he rocked back and forth, tears flooding his face. He heard loud voices and another crazy laugh, and curled up tighter, his eyes screwing shut._

"_Ohhhh Timmy…! Where are you?" _

_Tim's eyes flew open as he heard a soft whoosh; instinctively he rolled to the side and jumped to his feet. Dick was leaning against the doorframe, two knives in hand. Shaking, Tim looked in fear as a wide, mad, grin split across the older teen's face._

"_Timmeh? Say something, or I'll impale you!" he snarled, eyes burning with sudden rage._

_But Tim was frozen in fear, his terrified eyes locked on the knives in his brother's hand. _

"_Tim! Run!" he heard a voice call, but it was too far off, and Dick let out a sad sigh and shook his head slightly._

"_Pity…I really liked you, little bird." Dick flashed him a smile, and suddenly there was a searing pain in his gut._

_Tim put a hand to his stomach in surprise and looked down to see bright red blood spurting from the knife wound. He yanked out the knife and tossed it to the side, gasping in pain, letting out a groan of pain as more blood kept flowing out. He heard footsteps pattering hurriedly against the floor, but it barely registered in his mind as he slipped in and out of conscious. Dick gave a little maniacal giggle and turned to leave._

"_I gotta go, Timmy. Nice killing you!" he said, waving happily._

_Killing? Tim looked down and realized, in fact, Dick was right. The knife had ruptured some important organ, and he felt more and more light headed as the seconds past._

_Alarms were blaring, but they seemed far off to Tim, who dropped his head and almost closed his eyes when someone grabbed him. His eyes lowly fluttered open, and slow relief spread through him when he met anxious gray eyes._

"_Tim, wake up! Stay with me!" Jason wiped a bit of blood off his forehead and looked down at the wound._

"_Jay…" he whispered, his eyelids drooping._

"_No! Open your eyes Tim!" his older brother almost seemed scared, which was silly: Jason wasn't afraid of anything._

"_I'm not—not going a-anywhere without you," Tim managed before blackness enveloped him._

**Review, pleaseeee? **

**~samx**


	4. Intro

Tim's eyes flew open and he gasped for breath, sweating slightly. Jason was trying to pull Dick back form grabbing the knife. The youngest Bat family member dove for it and rolled to the side as a boot came crashing down a second after he moved. Getting to his feet, a bit wobbly and breathless, Tim's panicked blue eyes met Jason's confused gray ones. He flitted his eyes to the side and stashed the knife in his jacket, just in case. Dick hissed and lunged for him, but Jason easily blocked him, narrowing his eyes in anger.

"You weren't aiming for Tim, were you?" he asked in such a deadly tone that Dick flinched. The mentally unstable boy knew it was bad to mess with Tim, as the Red Hood was very protective.

"The useless piece of sh*t deserved it!" Dick snarled, and let out a yelp as he was pinned by the throat to the wall.

Gray eyes were crackling in anger, and Jason was pressing so hard against the neck that Dick felt a bruise forming. He yelped again, but his brother would not release him.

"L-Let me go! Jason!" Dick choked out, starting to turn a shade of blue.

Tim tugged at the older man's shirt, and then said, "Jay!" in a warning tone, as he had no intention of loosening his death lock.

Jason threw Dick to the floor, his eyes so dark that Tim winced a bit when their gaze turned on him.

"Sorry," Jason slumped onto the chair, and the former Robin touched his arm gently.

"It's ok, Jace. Just…I'm ok…" Tim managed a small smile, hen his expression turned serious as he watched Dick begin to cry, like a baby.

"I want this to end, Jason."

"Me too, Tim. Me too…"

They watched their broken brother on the floor, not knowing at that moment, it wasn't 15 years later—it was the first year that he met Wally, in his head. And until he relived all 13 years with the one he loved, he wouldn't ever stop. On the floor, he fingered the key around his neck and grasped it tightly as his mind whirled back to 12 years ago…

I'm SORRY IT IS SHORT SHOOT ME MKYA?!

**Pwease review so I can get the next chapter up :3**

**~samx**


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